So TIRED!

Having all this pain leaves one tired. When you've tossed and turned all night like I have this weekend it finally hits you and you just can't function. One night last week, it was my elbow and my index finger I have been calling the mouse finger, the right index finger that does all the scrolling. Then last night it was my back. Now you wouldn't think that a finger with arthritis in it or your elbow could hurt so bad they leave you laying there in agony, but they can and they do! So this morning I am sitting here with my sciatica acting up and so sleepy but I fight going to bed! Why do I do that? The only time I've ever given in is when I have no choice, when that fatigue we get with our fibro and Sjogren's hits, it is a MUST to sleep. I will have slept all night, a good night's sleep and the next morning I feel like I've been drugged and have to go back to sleep and I will sleep all day and all night again until the next morning when I wake up and finally feel refreshed. But getting back to why I won't go to bed when I am tired and hurting like this. I fight it I guess so I can be a part of the day. I don't want to miss out and I feel like a completely worthless person some days if all I do is lay around. My husband doesn't understand it. He has no problem with me resting when I need it so why do I? I think it's because people have put a stigma on those of us who are disabled. If they see those of us disabled and in a wheelchair I think they get it more but when those of us with invisible disabilities are not doing anything they wonder why? The cliche that you don't look sick comes to mind because you do hear that all the time when you have an invisible disability. I swear, if you saw me today, you wouldn't say that to me because I look tired, I look exhausted and worn out but if you were going to see me, I would be made up with my make up and hair done and a smile on my face because I don't want you to think I can't handle whatever this is I am fighting. This thing you don't understand! I don't know why I care what others think, I do to a point but sometimes it's ridiculous and I know it and I finally give in and do what is best for me. I have no responsibilities like some people do and know I am blessed to be able to rest when I need to and I should take full advantage of that. Ok, I am rambling but the message is this........Please those of you reading that aren't sick, don't judge those who are just because you can't see their illness. Be a blessing to them in some way. If your loved one is tired then encourage them to rest their bodies. To those of you who are sick like me, don't feel guilty and rest when you need it, lay around, take a bath, do whatever it is that makes you feel better. I think I have talked myself into going to bed and relaxing on my heat pad and closing my eyes and remembering my blessings and try to forget my ills a while! Remember this verse from 3 John chapter 1:2
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 
Love to you all,
Cindy